you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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