so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
