CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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