Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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