I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
God, I missed his penis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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