Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
