He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
