In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
