He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
