i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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