i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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