Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
