It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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