We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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