in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
