Grow some girl-balls and come out already
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
