Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
