I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
