I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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