Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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