i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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