smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
