Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize