Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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