I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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