Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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