Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
