Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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