Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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