i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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