i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
