He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
