You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
