think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
