Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
