I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
