I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
