He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
