People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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