Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We have started to decorate penises.
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Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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