That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
