At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.