Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional