I accidentally had phone sex last night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I love you. Go after that dick