Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize