Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize