I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.