i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.