why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
sex in a hospital.. check
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.