He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.