Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution