I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
