3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
