Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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