I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
