Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
