hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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