I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize