He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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