he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
