but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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