An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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