Porn is love you can see.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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