Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
