If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
