Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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