he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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