I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
