I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
